Obviously you’ve given your fair share to charity. You’ve bought all your family members cars and cribs. You donated heavily to The Haute Spot for giving you hours of entertainment. In other words, you’ve taken care of your priorities. So now it’s time to treat yourself. Now it’s time to take care of numero uno.

Sure you can go out and buy a Ferrari. Sure you can go out and get yourself a new watch. Sure you can finally take that trip to Italy you’ve always wanted. But nothing says “I F**Kin Made It” quite like a Miami mansion that even Tony Montana himself would be jealous of.

We just went from 6 to 12

Nestled in the heart of Coral Gables (Miami’s Jungle of Luxury) lies an estate begging for scantily clad models partying in the pool, expensive german, italian, and swedish engineeringparked out front, and a boat (see: yacht) parked in the back that would make T-Payne drop his auto-tuner.

Ivy League

Gentlemen we would like to introduce to you- The Nebuchadnezzar (That’s not what’s it called, but that’s what we would call it). But with 8 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms, two floors, a bar, 20,000 of sq feet, a basketball court, game room, 6 car garage, unrestricted ocean access, and 3 of the best acres of land money can buy- you can call it Eden for all we care.

Who needs a vacation, when this is your backyard

Yeah, just because.

The gym you'll never use. If you don't change the T.V. We'll judge you.

For all your Ruth's Cris Take Out

A kitchen this grand, deserves hiring a chef

A fireplace? In Miami? Sure, why not.

Never mind the ocean views

I've seen a room like this before. Yeah. It was in Versailles. It was Napoleon's. You might have heard of him

Really? Is that all really necessary?

Hotel Lobby? No just my hallway.

Your sports cove/pool room isn't complete without some African War Memorabilia.

Ok so our friends at Hummingbird Financial ran some numbers and assuming that even if you put the standard 20% down ($10 Million!), and had a perfect credit score (you better), you still would need to pay a heart-wrenching $221,630 a month! For 30 years!

Here’s to dreaming:

You better invite us over for tea

BUY IT 11 Casuarina Concourse, Coral Gables, FL $49,000,000

• New optional J-1000™ Audio System with iPod® Docking Station – a Jacuzzi exclusive, powered by JBL
• New PowerPro® PX jets and the premium FX2 Spinners
• New adjustable lighted pillows
• Elevated WaterColour™ waterfall with ProPower Lights
• Enhanced interior lighting
• Optional accent lights on outside corners
• Energy-efficient, quiet, and reliable filtration system
• Open Seating
• PowerPro® Combo Therapy Seat
• Maximum-volume MX2 Jets
• NX2 Jets concentrate on the neck area
• Exclusive design technology: patent-pending, adjustable pillow headrests

Get ready to fight off the hordes of bikini amazons who will force you to soak for hours with them.

FIND YOUR LOCAL DEALER J-470 by Jacuzzi

This totally blows my mind, I mean what a way to wow your guests.

“Here, why don’t you bring a a little bit of table closer to you so you don’t have to reach over.”  Total crowd pleaser, in my opinion. This table will let you give your living room a slightly different look whenever you please, hassle-free. Sure beats the hell out of Ikea.

With his uncanny ability to make mortal women appear like Greek Goddesses, Helmut Newton, was once the world’s most famous photographer. His ability to transform pictures into art, use common images to instill emotion, and his phenomenal marketing have all helped him reach international stardom before his death in 2004.

Creator of several photography books, SUMO, was one of his most famous endeavors. Named after the physical presence of the book, it was a gigantic piece weighing in at a healthy 77 pounds, you can’t blame Helmut for not trying to warn you.

Originally, limited to 10,000 copies, SUMO’s first copy holds the world record for the most expensive book published in the 20th century at $430,000. The rest of the series sold out immediately after at a list price of $15,000 and skyrocketed in price due to it’s rarity.

Well now, nearly a decade later, SUMO, is being re-printed for the masses. You get the same book, the same pictures, the same nudes which adorn thousands of millionaires and art-collectors’ living rooms across the world for $100 (More than 99% off the original price). Granted, the book is slightly smaller and lighter (thank heavens) than the behemoth of lore, you are essentially getting the same piece of art coveted the world over. It even comes with a special stand to showcase the art without having to wrestle with the bear of the book.

It’ll finally bring some class into your bachelor pad. Just lose that beer pong table. It’s not helping the cause.

BUY IT Helmut Newton’s Sumo $100

A brand new, tropically themed manor just southwest of Miami, this Coral Gables mega-estate is more resort than mere residence. Water is the main attraction to the 16,400 square-foot home, which is oceanfront and surrounded by swimming pools, chlorinated lagoons and splashing water features. Construction on the 7-bed/7-bath home was completed this year, outfitted with Asian-themed and open beam interior spaces. The $24.5 million, two-story home has two staff rooms, a sprawling master suite with a safe room and a four-car garage. Outside, the home is surrounded by lush gardens and multiple courtyard spaces for entertaining and taking in the South Florida sun. -STYLE CRAVE

Scoop it up before me and all my friends chip in and buy it.

That is assuming we don’t get distracted.

BUY IT Rowland’s Ripple Table $50,000

Gunning Box Bar

BUY IT Gunning Box Bar $870

Ralph Lauren Black Label 2009 Collection

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